Ummmmm….Where do I even begin? Growing up in a single parent household in New Orleans, LA. I’ve seen a lot that caused me to learn how I didn’t want to father if I ever bared children. I had a representative of a father that would come around every now and then to show face. I knew that I wanted to be the type of father that was going to be present, showed love, and cared. Well, coming into my manhood I found out the truth about myself, I was attracted to men. I felt, well there goes my shot at being a father because two men can’t have a baby. I then joined the military and was shipped off to Germany where it was an unknown country and land for me. I was given orders to deploy to Iraq to fight the war on terrorism, not knowing if I would survive or live. My walk with God became stronger. I grew up in church and would always hear that if you were gay, you were going to hell. So, I decided to NOT desire male nor female. I told myself that if I’d die, then at least I wanted to make it to Heaven. Long story short-I met a female who took liken to me. We dated then I deployed to Iraq. We stayed in contact and built our relationship via phone calls, skype and emails. I know… I know right. But came home to ask her hand in marriage because I told myself that I was Super-Saved, Healed, and Delivered. We then went back to the states and had two baby boys. I said, I will be the Best Dad Ever. I was there every night to tuck them in, pray with them and show them what I thought a man should be. As time went on, we eventually divorced. She fought me so hard on not being in our children’s lives because I was gay. I’m like lady, whether I was a crackhead, an alcoholic, or a clown on the streets—No Matter What – I Will Forever Be Our Children’s Father! Period. I love my Legacy. I stand up for my children. I listen to my kids. I encourage my boys to go beyond their normal. I tell and teach them that they can be whatever they want to be in life, and I will be their BIGGEST cheerleader. Yes, they know about me and my fiancé. Yes, that was the hardest decision and conversation that I had to have in my life. On one hand I want to be the one to tell my truth to them and not allow her to hold that over my head, that hey I’m going to tell them for you. So, I spoke my truth rather than addressed a scandal. They heard it from their father. Yes, it was difficult but guess what? (See Conclusion) !
My bad, I know it was a little bit long, but I had to cover the Genesis, the Middle and the Present.
Here WE are – All one BIG happy family. My kids accept his kids and they love Noris as well. What I want to point out is that even after my divorce from the ‘Other Parent,’ and several court cases going back and forth with her, I never left my children. I remained an Actively Present Black Father. From conception to cutting their umbilical to today, I’ve been here, gay and all!
The most moving story I’ve read in a very long time. Thank you for honoring the role of fatherhood. So many young black men don’t have fathers. I am truly blessed to have this before our interview.